“it’s one thing to try and understand life, but death too?”
I wish I was better at keeping up with this blog, but this trip has been way too time consuming. in a good way. I left the ranch two days ago. as I had mentioned before I was experiencing that heavy weight in the pit of my stomach. the orchard and this whole experience was supposed to be a time where I could get out of my head and relax. escape to a peaceful place and work with new interesting people and new land. even though I did get to do both of those things, something just wasn’t feeling right. family emergencies took action shortly after the anxiety. hopefully I wasn’t giving off bad joo-joo to the universe. the morning I thought it might be best for me to head out was when I got a second text from my mom about my grandma’s condition, so I packed up my things and started back on the road.
I knew I had a couple places I wanted to stop and some people I wanted to see before heading back to the Midwest. the afternoon of leaving the farm wasn’t particularly easy. I spent the morning working on building a new vegetable bed and talking to Paul about places to see and things to do (he’s the Wildman who lives on the other 10 acres of the farm). it was nice to talk to him about the farm we were both working on and our similar points of view. I couldn’t have asked for a better first experience with WWOOFing. it got me out of my comfort zone (which I love) and gave me the opportunity to work hard/test my abilities. the only thing that was dissatisfying was my preconceived notion of the farm. I was expecting to be working at a place that was up and running, things were in order, and learning new skills would be constant. even though I learned a WHOLE bunch of new things, the farm was soooooo so so new that I didn’t get the taste of a successful project.
I loved everything about being there. even this poison ivy that I’m now dealing with and wanting to cut my hand off over. camping for a week was crazy, but so worth it. if I ever get the chance to go back I absolutely would. if I could have those little boys as my own I would take them too. saying goodbye was tough because I really felt a connection with the boys and the mother. they were great teachers and reinforced a lot of self confidence and maturity. absolutely a family I will be keeping in touch with. I left my hat with Ylias 0:)
after a million hugs and “I cant thank you enough”s I headed south. San Francisco was my first stop. my dad hooked me up with a way too nice of a hotel room, but I got to finally shower and pamper myself. as my mom said “there’s way too much princess in you for you to not enjoy an expensive hotel room.” and she’s most definitely right. I flopped on that bed like it had been years since I felt soft sheets. additionally took the longest shower of my life. it’s took bad my skin freaked out after not being cleaned everyday, now im dealing with stupid bumpy skin. can’t wait to get home to lather myself in lush products.
since I only had a night in SF I met up with an old friend and her boyfriend (who I was just meeting for the first time). I think it was the most amazing timing that she had just moved there days before and that I was also going to be passing through. Nora is someone I really miss having in my life more consistently. knowing she just made a huge move to SF makes me so excited and personally motivated. she always meant so much to me and we grew a lot together in high school. her friendship is something I wish was more concrete right now and I hope I can be a better friend to accomplish that. seeing her was great and what I needed after an exhausting couple of weeks. there’s something about that lady. too pretty, smart, and funny for her own good.
after parting ways with Nora and Tom, I returned to my hotel and fell asleep in a second. but only to wake up every couple hours restlessly after 5am. I had a dream about scott. it was so perfect. I hadn’t seen him in so long. hugs and kisses were shared and when I was finally starting to gain conscious of what was going on I said to my brother Tim (who was also in my dream), “please. tell me if this is a dream or not. is he really here right now? don’t let this be a dream.” then I woke up. I’m not surprised at all he came to me while I was spending time in one of his favorite cities. he loved it there so much and I got to spend the night with him.
needless to say, the next day was pretty emotional for me. I got up eventually after constantly waking up. it was the most perfect overcast morning (what I would do to live there and have those misty mornings to wake up to). I had a long drive ahead of me, but muir woods was a must. SF was everything I remembered and more. this second drive to the redwoods was unbelievable. the mist and fog just clung to the mountains and trees. it was so thick and mesmerizing. the woods were even more beautiful than I remembered. the light mist might have helped. I bought a pair of muir woods socks, a hat, a new mug (because my other one is cracked), and a coffee. I only had 45 minutes to spare so I took a quick walk around and soaked it all up. at least now I know my dream job – to work there would be incredible.
I left there and made the 6.5 hour drive to playa del rey to my brother’s apartment. he just recently broke his foot, so I wanted to spend some time with him. life is too short and you never know what can happen to those you care about. so, with being so close, I decided not to take the timing for granted and go make him some pasta, go up in the clouds, and watch some movies. and that’s exactly what we did.
today we spent the day by the pool trying to get some tan-age going on. the father insisted on a wine tasting dinner at the areal restaurant, so that happened and I got quite tipsy off the generous glasses I was being served. see-jay-toe and I parted ways and I headed back to my dads to get some benydrll and watch some TV. I’m so happy I got to spend time with my brother, but I’m definitely ready to head back home. I miss my mom, my cat, and I need to see grandma. so see you soon Chicago, even though I’ll be leaving shortly after I’m back for yet another adventure.
scott and I joked about getting prince tattoos – maybe that’s something I should look into.